Mrs. Bush Contemplates Halloween Costumes

There are few things in life that I love more than dressing up. That could mean shaving my legs and putting on a pretty skirt OR putting on a wig and pretending to be someone else for the evening. As an adult, the occasion to dress as someone or something else really only comes one night a year. Of course I’m talking about Halloween.

I have not dressed up for Halloween for the past 4 years. It’s really a damn shame. So this year, since Halloween is on a Saturday (and since I’m now friends with some folks who relish dressing up and going out as much as I do) I am planning my Halloween costume!

I’ve been tossing a lot of ideas around in my brain.

Blonde Ambition Era Madonna

This is Madonna at her best. She was making some of her best songs and really just being a huge bitchy bitch and I love her for it. If you know me, you know I love waking up on Saturday and Sunday mornings and watching Truth or Dare as I putter around the house. Best movie ever.
The Problem: My hair isn’t platinum blonde anymore and finding a suitable costume would get pretty expensive. I also don’t want to walk around in public with my ass hanging out.

Marge Simpson

Like every American born in the 80’s I have grown up with The Simpson’s. I love this show because I’m smrt and because I love to laugh. (Misspelling was on purpose, if you don’t get the reference then you need to watch more Simpsons.)
The Problem: I would want to get the hair just right if I was going to be Marge. I found a sweet wig on eBay but it’s $40 and since we’re purchasing a house I don’t have that kind of scratch to throw around on a Halloween costume.

Cyndi Lauper

This one would be pretty easy. I could get the clothes from any Goodwill and I could color my hair using that colored hair spray that’s available around this time every year. It would be super recognizable and super fun to wear a big fluffy skirt.
The Problem: I don’t know Cyndi Lauper that well. I mean, I own her True Colors record and I enjoy it quite a bit, but I would feel like kind of a phony for dressing up like her when I don’t know her music that well. I also feel like this has been done to death.

OK, SO

Those are the ideas that I’m not going with – at least this year. They’ll all be reconsidered in the years to come, I’m sure. So now I’m stuck between 2 very different ideas and I need your help!

Suddenly Seeking Susan Era Madonna


I love this Madonna almost as much as I love Blond Ambition Madonna. She was making some great music; Like A Prayer and True Blue are really fucking good dance albums.
What Works: My hair color is right for this Madonna costume and much like the Cyndi Lauper idea, I could get most of the costume at any Goodwill. It’s not quite as recognizable as Cyndi – but pretty damn close; Especially since I’ll be at a karaoke bar on Halloween and once I bust out with “Holiday” people will get it.

Little Edie Beale



If you have not seen Grey Gardens then you need to rent it IMMEDIATELY. I’m not talking about the Drew Barrymore movie. I mean the original Grey Gardens documentary. It’s gold, I tells ya, GOLD! Edie is so fucking fascinating on screen and she’s so sad. She’s also incredibly spunky and extroverted in front of the cameras, so being her for the night would be a blast.
What works: This entire costume could be put together using things I already own, including a sweet broach I have that was my grandmothers. Then I could go around all night saying that what I was wearing is the best costume for the day. Then I’d laugh and laugh. Not everyone will get it, but I kind of don’t care. Dressing up as Edie would be a hoot and a half.

So please, dear friends (all 3 of you who read this) tell me what you think! Madonna or Little Edie? What shall it be?

Yo!

I have a big Halloween post marinating in my head, but I'm busy with my day job right now.

So, as promised, here's a video from Mikey's bday talent show:



Mike put this together himself. Pretty sweet, huh?

Bilton is the cutest

My First Husband

Hello Lover...

Ghostbusters came out in 1984 and Ghostbusters II came out in 1989. I was born in 1983. I'm not sure how old I was when I first saw Ghostbusters, but I was old enough to know what love was. Love was Dr. Peter Venkman. He was funny, he was cute, and he busted ghosts. Nuff said.

I had a Venkman action figure when I was little. When you pressed down his arms, his eyeballs popped out.

I was so infatuated with Venkman that I used to make out with my action figure. Or whatever "making out" means to a 5 year old. The only problem was, he was so small that it was basically just me sucking on the tiny action figure's head...that sounds really really dirty. I was 5. Get your mind outta the gutter.

Once I figured out that Venkman was an actual guy named Bill Murray, that's been it for me. I had this doll that was basically a wooden dowel with a round wooden ball glued on the top. A face was painted on the ball. I think maybe my grandma made it for me. I named the doll "Bill" and had my mom perform a marriage ceremony between Bill and I in our living room during one of the commercial breaks for Magnum P.I. It was magical.

As I got older and was exposed to more of Bill Murray's work, I became more and more twitterpated. He is so dreamy, I can barely stand it. We've been watching the early seasons of SNL that he's in and It's all I can do not not jump off the couch and lick the TV screen.

Still, my husband makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has and ever could. He's my own Peter Venkman action doll, but life sized. He's my own Bill Murray, but you know, much younger and better looking. It's pretty awesome.

Also, he may not bust ghosts - but he can bust out a dope rhyme.



Visit http://www.sticksdowney.com/ or http://www.slyrecords.com/ to enjoy how talented and funny he is. He updates the Weekly Waste on Sly Records every Wednesday morning and it's always a fun way to start my Hump Day.

Do it to it!

oh the shame!

i hate doing laundry.

let me qualify that statement.

1. i hate spending all day sunday doing laundry in the craptacular half-sized washer and dryer that came with this crap apartment that we live in. i would venture a guess that i would hate laundry anywhere, and have, but i really hate it here.
2. i am anal. i admit it and have learned to embrace it. but that means that i can't just wash the clothes, hastily fold or hang them and then throw them in drawers. i fold them all perfectly and then rearrange the drawers if needed so that they all fit perfectly.
3. i have to iron all of my husband's work clothes because he's too cheap for the dry cleaner and he has to dress up with a shirt and tie every day. AND he feeds me a load of crap about how i "do it way better than" he does and he "can't do it as fast as" me. it's bull, but i let it slide due to #2 on this list.
4. it takes ALL DAY.

so yesterday while trying to rush through the laundry, i grabbed the husband's cargo shorts off of the bedroom floor and after i rotated that load into the dryer i noticed a loud clunk-clunk-clunking.

you guessed it, i washed not only his wallet, but also his cell phone. best day ever? methinks the world had a better day in store for me...

today we were running late for work and the car wouldn't start!

Aces! the upside of that is i had to take a surprise vacation day! and with my day off, i am starting a quilt.

the crotches in three pairs of my jeans gave out on me recently and i have decided to do a quilt. i'm also using some super cute green linen-like fabric. this will be my second quilt, but my first that doesn't look really ugly and ridiculous.

wish me luck!

I think It's Safe To Say...

...that if any of the four of us ever happen upon Paul Rudd in the future, I should be the one who gets to sleep with him. I don't have that "husband" thing to worry about.

Booyah.

i'm an old married lady...

as i contemplate wifedom adventures...

my wifedom is not new. rather it is almost 5 years old! kindergarten here we come! (there is, no doubt, a great analogy to be made there, but i choose to explore other things.)

before i got married, but was engaged, a lot of older, divorced or unhappily married women would make subtle or not so subtle snide comments about my impending nuptials. they would say things like, "good luck" in response to my declaring that i was getting married or "are you sure you want to do that?"

i would always feel the need to respond with glowing tributes to my beloved, i would go to great lengths to illustrate all of his wonderful qualities in order to convince them that i was making the right decision and that i knew for a fact that i was not destined for the kind of regret and disillusionment that they had experienced.

Ah, time, the great teacher. if i had it to do over again, i would tell those bitter old broads to shove it up their fat bitchy asses. because guess what? I'M STILL HAPPILY MARRIED!! the husband that i chose is a fucking gem. i have never met anyone that i want to spend every single day with, let alone every single day for the last 7 years.

i knew it then and i still know it... i was right and they were totally wrong.

as a side note... i am actually not wearing white tights in my wedding picture - i'm just really that pale - i call it clear.

A Typical Saturday Morning

Well, I suppose it's actually Saturday afternoon. When you wake up at 11am, it's my belief that the morning lasts until about 2pm.

So my first order of business on a Saturday morning is to feed the cats. They're used to being fed at around 7:30am on business days, so they're especially hungry on Saturday and Sunday...ahem mornings..ahem.


Once the cats are munching on their kibble, I brew myself some coffee in order to stem the tide of the raging headache that is pounding away at my frontal lobe. You see, I have an addiction. My body is used to having 2 cups of coffee by 9am, Monday thru Friday. On Saturday morning when it's 11am and I've had not a drop of caffeine, by brain starts to pound in my skull. So while the coffee's brewing, I drop 3 Tylenol. No big deal, my body is a temple, etc.

Now, I sit down to a cup of coffee and whatever book I happen to be reading at the time. Today it's this gem:

I'm a few chapters in to it and so far, it's really very interesting. Granted, Slash isn't the most prolific person, but he's an interesting dude who's had an interesting life. I will never ever do cocaine, nor will I bang a bunch of skanks, nor will I play an intstrument in front of thousands of screaming fans. So it's fun to read about someone who has and does all this stuff. Good for you, sir.

Welp, that's it. That's a glimpse in to a Saturday morning in Bush Wifedom.

As a slightly related side note, I must mention that my husband got Mrs. Campbell a job at his office and she is there this morning working away like the cute little red headed worker bee that she is. I wish her good luck! Yay for seasonal jobs and for friends doing stuff for eachother.

Peace out!

Mrs. Katy Haines

Well today I will be witnessing an old friend of mine enter in to the land of Wifedom. That's right, Miss Katy Shinn will become Mrs. Katy Haines today at 6pm. It should be a beautiful wedding and I am very happy for her and her groom, Tony.
The above picture was taken at my wedding 2 months ago. Sheesh. I can't believe I've been married almost 2 months; I can't believe my Katy is getting married today. I've known this girl since high school and she is one of the few people in the world that can make me laugh from my gut.

Here we are in high school after a Future Business Leaders of America conference:
We're the shrieking idiots on the far left of the picture. Nice choker, Joy. Nice nylons, Katy. We really were fashion plates. Future Business Leaders of America, indeed.

Here we are a couple summers ago enjoying karaoke at The Alibi:

As Brad and Katy both put it, my Jerry Lee Lewis bangs were infringing on her face space. Ah well. My hair was cute and she should have been on my other side. It's her fault, really. I can't help being so damn stylish.

So Katy Haines, Welcome to Wifedom. I think you'll find that it's exactly like Singledom...but you know, with more farts.

This one's for you:


Excelsior!

Subway Sex on the Number Six

On the way home from work yesterday I gave in to some freaky Subway Sex.

It had to happen eventually, I guess. Being that I'm single and, therefore, allowed to do it whenever and with whomever I want. Bush and Campbell can't say that, now can they? Ah yeah, bitches. AH YEAH.

So I was on the way home and decided I was hungry and that I needed a Subway Club. That shit is good. All the best meats (however "specific to Subway" they might taste, and whatever that means. I've grown accustomed). So I pulled into the Subway off of Powell, right past the Ross Island bridge, to go and get me some grub. Little did I know the only guy there behind the counter would be adorable and horny. Just like me.

"What'll ya have?" he beckoned.

Oh, goodness.

"Um...I guess a number six?" I answered.

"Good choice. Why don't you have a seat and I'll bring it out to you. It'll be on me."

I wasn't sure what he meant or what was going on. But I was okay with it, whatever it was.

"Don't you need to know what I want on it?" I asked.

"You want everything on it," he demanded.

With this statement, I shuddered and went and sat at a table in the corner, anxiously awaiting what might happen next.

A few moments later he delivered it to me. But as soon as he sat the Number Six down, he lifted me up and sat me down on the edge of the table, and then laid me down right over the top of it, where he delivered it to me again.

---- Right, so none of this actually happened. If you know me, you know I've been home sick for two days. Otherwise it's likely that it might have happened, given my tendency towards Subway sandwiches and Hot Guys in Uniform (apparently ANY uniform).

Mostly I wrote this for Bush and Campbell. To go ahead and live vicariously through.

Housewives dig this shit, right? That's what I hear.

Home Ownership

Yay! Our offer on the house was accepted last week. Now I'm scheduling home inspections and trying to figure out when to give our property manager 30 days notice.

I'm going to try to use this move as an opportunity to organize all my crap. Usually when I unpack in a new place I just dump stuff directly from a box (or lawn bag) in to a drawer and call it good. I'm determined not to do that this time. We will be in this house for the long haul and I need to start with some organization.

I have so many awesome ideas for the house already. We'll be moving in sometime late next month and when we do, get ready for some before and after pictures. It's going to be fantastic. I love color. There will be no beige and cream in our house. Get ready for some fun times.

In other, less exciting news, I have fallen in to the laundry trap. I did a load of laundry this weekend and it's still sitting in the basket in the bedroom. Normally it would only be a matter of time before the contents of the basket were strewn about the bedroom floor, but not anymore. Mrs. Bush needs to take control of the situation; tonight I'll put my laundry away.

becoming a seamstress

These are my new curtains. I got the fabric from Ikea, it's the Gunilla print. I went to Ikea thinking of another print, but Rob and I both liked this one a lot. I was so excited, I hemmed them and had them hanging later that afternoon.

I also ordered a book on sewing and received it the other day. Sew Fast Sew Easy. I haven't started it yet, but I'm very excited. It came with basic patterns to learn on. Since I'm not making any money, I plan on crafting all Christmas gifts this year. I say that every year, but this year I have no choice.

Once I'm a master seamstress, I'm going to buy this book and make everything in it:

I Wanna Be Like Mike

Happy Birthday Mikey!

Seen here, at Rob and Erin's wedding is the lovely Mike. It's his birthday today and we (Bush, Campbell and Rybolt) are all going to his birthday party on Saturday. He has requested that his birthday party be a talent show and all his friends are expected to perform some sort of talent.

I have already told him that I have no performable talent and so instead of making an ass of myself in front of everyone, I will instead be bringing a Lil Smoky Cheese Ball per Mike's request.

Erin is going to present a slide show and Shauna is doing a song on her ukulele. Or at least that's what they told me the other night. Things change. Perhaps they'll be performing a burlesque routine or something. One can only hope.

I have wicked awful stage fright so I'm relieved to not have to perform anything. Even if it's just in front of a group of friends at Mike's sisters house. I'll just camp out by my cheese ball and watch everyone else be talented.

I'm actually really excited! One of us will post talent show pictures ASAP - I'm looking at you Erin.

Yay for Mike!

Two Wives, A Girl, and let's order pizza...

I don't know if Mrs. Bush did this on purpose or not, but somehow I was just invited to be a contributing author to this blog.

Wooohooooo! Look out!

So anyway. I was just sitting here...Contemplating the reason I might have been invited to such a blog. I'm not a wife (although I do live in a bedroom just adjacent to Wifedom, and I can often hear the screaming and farting coming from town).

Maybe the intention is to make me someones wife? Marry me off? Pbsht.

Anyway, I decided that (whether or not it was her intention to invite me), I shall take the opposite stance of my Wifey Friends - that Singledom is the place to be!

(Until I am kicked out of Wifedom for doing so).

Signed,
One of a few Singlettes currently residing in Wifedom

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Brad usually works from home. It's nice to come home from a long day at work and be able to give him a big fat smooch first thing. If I have an amusing story or a particularly loud belch, I can share these things with him. It's nice to have the company.

This week, though, he has to go in to work from 5pm -10pm. So even though I went out to dinner with some friends (including Mrs. Campbell) I still managed to get bored enough tonight to cut myself some bangs.

Let's just hope I don't have a crew cut by the end of the week. I've been growing my hair out for too long now to start all over again.

I should really be putting laundry away right now.

Yes, more laundry.

Peace out!