Excelsior!

As you know, I recently made a sewing table out of video tapes. However, as the table top was unfinished, the victory of this achievement has been, thus far, unearned. Until today.

While I was at the salon having my hair treated after an unfortunate chemical experience I had a few months back, my amazing husband had an epiphany of sorts. He was driving around to thrift stores looking for a cheap television for my craft room when, like a cheap moth to the flame of a liquidation sale, he was lured into a soon to be closed Blockbuster Video.

Upon entering this last bastion of pop culture censorship, he saw a large rack of 'backing cards'. What are backing cards you say? They are the plasticy, cardboardy, fake movie box fronts that sit on the shelf and laugh at you after the store is out of every copy of the movie that you were looking for. They are the bitchy tease of the video store world. The tramp who says "oh, you wanted to rent 200 Cigarettes? I'm sorry, but someone else is currently enjoying it, you're going to have to go home empty handed." And they were one sale, 20 for $1. So after picking me up, we went back and now I am the proud owner of 220 backing cards.

Let the crafting begin!

First thing's first, I had to finish my sewing table top.

What I will do with the rest is really anyone's guess. I'm definitely excited to get started on whatever it is though, now that part of my craft room is organized...

Yay!!

Oregon Classic Cat Show 2011!

As a mother of three FIV+ shelter cats, I have mixed feelings about the spirit of the Oregon Classic Cat Show. I went last year and had a ton of fun with my cat lady friend, Katrina. Though at the time Katrina and I both agreed that it would be better if all the cats were rescues and were up for adoption. Part of me feels that "showing" pure bred cats misses the whole spirit of being a cat owner.

At the same time, the cat show is fucking awesome. Rows and rows of lazy, pampered cats. These cats are all funky looking, to boot. It's rare for me to see pure breds and since I'm a huge fan of felines it's quite a treat.

These are not typical house cats. They have super distinctive features. Persians, Maine-Coons, British Short-Hairs, Scottish Folds, it goes on and on. The most fun was looking at these awesome (highly inbred) breeds and trying to figure out what my cats are made of. I think Bilton is a Turkish Van, The Bot is a Chinchilla and Bits is a Chocolate Lynx Point. Of course, they're "mutts" but that's my best guess for my three adopted baby boys.



This year I went to the Oregon Cat Classic with Shauna and Mikey. One of the most exciting moments for us was seeing this Colleen Donaghy lookalike. Mikey and Shauna posed in front of her so that we could document her fabulousness.


The set up was exactly the same as last year: rows and rows of cats in "cages" with the judging stages off to the sides. There are places to buy cat accessories in the corners of the expo center. (Also just like last year, next door the Gun Show was going on, which made for a funny mix of people in the parking lot.)

Judging:

My favorite cats:

The saddest magnet in the world:

You can bet your sweet bippy that I'll be going to the Oregon Classic Cat Show in 2012. Though, I'm thinking I'm going to wear a t-shirt that says "FIV+" and tally how many dirty looks I get from fancy cat snobs.

Boom like you mean it.

Dog Bed! Throw Pillows!

My mom gave Brad and I a $100 gift certificate to Ikea for Christmas. Going in to that store with free money was one of the greatest experiences of my consumer life. While we were in the throw pillow section, Brad admitted to me that he hated our throw pillow situation. We had an eclectic mix of 8 small-ish throw pillows on our couch. Brad lays on the couch a lot and hates having to deal with all of them. So we ended up buying 2 fatty uncovered Ikea throw pillows. I decided I would use some fabric that we already have to cover them. I didn't want to spend $13 on a pillow cover from Ikea. Eff that.

When we got home I looked through my piles of fabric and found the last of the tablecloths I made for our wedding. (I had already recomissioned the others for window treatments.) I decided these would be perfect for the pillows.

Boom

Bosley approves!

Speaking of Bosley! My next project was to de-stuff those 8 throw pillows that were previously on the couch, and use the stuffing to make Boz a bed! I have a large amount of leopard print fabric that I knew would be perfect. I didn't take any pictures of the process, but it's just a super basic big square pillow. Once I got all the stuffing inside, I realized I would need more. So I found my old Dolly Parton Halloween costume and pulled all the stuffing out of the 38 G bra I had fashioned.

Finally, there seemed to be enough stuffing to make things comfortable for The Bozzman. Once he figured out that it was OK for him to lay on it, it became clear that he loves it!

Also, please note that my dog is the cutest dog in the whole wide world.



PILLOWS!

xoxo

It's all for you, Damien!

I am lazy and unorganized. I don't pretend that I'm not. I'm not sure what impression my husband was under when he married me. We had been living together for over 2 years and he was familiar with my practices. Nevertheless, he's getting really fed up with the way I operate. I don't necessarily blame him. I'm pretty frustrating. Here's the deal: I half-ass my laundry. I do a load and leave the clean clothes in the basket for like 2 weeks. The cats enjoy it because it makes for a sweet bed. Brad, on the other hand does not appreciate it. Evenutally, I'll have picked through the basket of clothes enough to wear it, and the 3 feet of floor that surround it, becomes a jumbled, cat hair covered mess. Then, I deem the clothes too dirty to wear and I start the laundry process over agian. I realize that this is a terrible way to do things. My clothing rotation is terribly uneven. Alas, it's they way I've always done things, and I'm comfortable enough with it. I've found that the benefits of ignoring laundry are much more immediate than the benefits of putting my shit away. There are so many other things I'd rather be doing - like cross stitching or button bouquet-ing or watching 30 Rock on DVD for like 8 hours straight.

I know it's time to be a grown up. The days of having a messy bedroom should be behind me. God bless Brad for being as tolerant as he has been. I suppose we all have our line in the sand. Brad's is being 35 years old and having a 27 year old wife who keeps the bedroom feeling like it belongs to a petulant teenage girl. He's been putting up with me for almost 6 years now. Ugh. Poor guy. So tonight I'm going home and I'm finishing my laundry and putting clothes away. Than at 8pm I'll reward myself with some Must-See-TV.

This one's for you, Braddy. It's all for you.

xoxo

Joy's On The Side

I did it! I finally did it!

My Etsy shop Joy's On the Side is finally up and running. Three needlework pieces have already been purchased, so I'm busy cross stitching so I can add some more items to my shop. All the pictures of my shizz were taken by Mrs. Campbell.

Hooray!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/joysontheside

Hooray for Productivity!

Now that Eric and I live in a place with more than two rooms, I swear I have a new lease on life. I'm still working on my videotape sewing table, but I've hit a bit of a wall with the structural issues so I decided to turn my attention to the DVD shelf that I started a few weeks ago for Eric's Nerdery.

I have to say that I'm pretty proud of myself with this one, it definitely has flaws, but overall a solid first effort. And now Eric has one more shelf for his hoarder-like collecting...

Now, I'm turning my attention back to the sewing table. Wish me luck!

Punch-Worthy

Hello! It's been too long. I have been a terrible blogger. Oh well. Only Lacey reads this, so it doesn't really matter. I made some pillows and a dog bed last night, but I forgot to take pictures, so instead of writing about that, I'm going to write about something that's been driving me CRAZY...

About 3 months in to our marriage, people started asking me when we're going to have kids. My standard reply is, "I don't know, we'll see." What I'm thinking in my head is, "Mind your own goddam business, Assface McGee!".

It gets worse around the holidays. My mom was particularly punch-worthy at Christmas when, in front of a butt-load of my family, she asked us flat out "So when are you going to make me a grandmother?". I gave her my standard reply in the coldest voice possible. Other family members just hinted at it. I'd be holding someone's toddler in my arms and a cousin would say something like "You and Brad are going to have such cute kids." then they'd stare at me expectantly. It's like everyone was waiting for me to announce my pregnancy. I get it - people do that around Christmas -time. Only problem is -I'm not fucking pregnant. And guess what, it's none of your business as to when Brad and I decide to have kids.

Having kids is a huge decision. Financially, emtionally and otherwise. I'm really not looking to discuss that decision with anyone other than my husband and my closest friends.

So when that balding, gingerheaded dillhole in my office makes a comment about how it's my turn to have kids, I just smile at him while thinking to myself, "Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you..." Meanwhile he's prattling on about having kids is just so cool and you'll never experience anything else like it. The problem with this is - I didn't ask. I didn't ask you what it's like to be a parent. I know very little about you (except that you love Dave Matthews Band and you drive a Ford F250) and I don't care about you or your super radical 1-year-old.

Part of the reason for this baby pressure cooker is because seven of my girlfriends are pregnant right now. (Including Mrs. Campbell!) My whole world is infected with the baby fever! I am genuinely happy for all my friends! I can't wait to meet each one of their babies and to squish their chubby legs and coo at them! I'm going to buy them all high-top baby Nike's becase that's the cutest thing ever.

I am just incredibly tired of being asked when Brad and I are going to make a human. Guess what? We'll fucking let you know. How about that? If we decide to have kids, how about I just put out an all-points-bulletin to everyone I've ever spoken to in my entire life. That way, everyone can know everything about my uterus! God knows, what I do with my womb is everybody's business. That much has been made clear to me in the last year.

Yes, I'm bitter. I'm really really tired of people who barely know me asking me about it. Just because we work in the same office, does not mean you can ask me something so personal. Just because we're related by marriage, doesn't mean it's any of your beeswax. Deciding whether or not be become a parent is super hard and super pesonal; and it's presumptuous and rude to ask someone you don't know very well when they're going to have kids.

On behalf of myself and every other childless married couple that you don't know all that well: STOP IT.

Love,

Joy "No I'm not fucking pregnant." Bush

P.S.

The pillows and dog bed I made are super cute so I'll take pics and blog about them soon. Word.

Also, I know I sound really angry in this post, but oh well. I needed to vent, so suck it, Internet.

A New Sewing Table!

When I met my husband he was the proud owner of at least 2,000 VHS tapes. And although he has been steadily replacing them with DVDs, we still have at least 1,500 video tapes. Useless, valueless, VHS tapes.

Now that we have moved out of our one bedroom apartment and into an actual house the video tapes are out of our storage unit and ready for practical use.

Behold, my new sewing table project!

The raw materials:

6 and a half boxes of VHS tapes, Gorilla Glue, Tape and a whole lot of Heart

Which movies to choose! So many fantastic titles...

The first few layers...

(yes, that is my copy of Private Benjamin -- I will now admit that a large number of these videos are mine)

The inspectors take a look at my finished product...

The next step is for it to dry overnight....

And then, DECOUPAGE!!! I'll keep you posted.

It's been a while...

A year in fact.

Let me get you up to speed on what's been going on. When last we talked I was a suffering from a little bit of seasonal effective disorder, or sad, for those in the know. Well, coincidentally, I am having that same problem now! Methinks a pattern I smell.

But I digress... in the past year I have done a whole lot of nothing. No crafts at all. This can almost entirely be attributed to our tiny apartment where my sewing machine is in it's case in the back of my closet along with everything else I own that's crafty.

I have decided to make a vow to do some crafting for the Holidays! Maybe it will get me out of my funk and crafts are a great personal (read cheap) way to tell loved ones that they are loved ones. Yay!

While Christmas crafting I will be no doubt watching our favorite Christmas films. Check it.

Christmas Vacation - I don't care what any snobby bastard says, this is the greatest ever.
It's a Wonderful Life
Santa's Slay - My husband's favorite and I have to say that I dig this one too.
Home Alone
Trading Places
White Christmas

Stay tuned for news of crafts!

Husband Less

I am less one husband for the next 48 hours. He's off in Los Angeles for work being very important and I am home with the dog and cats eating Totino's Party Pizzas and making button bouquets.

For the 4 of you who read this blog, you know that I made button bouquets at my wedding and encouraged you to take them home as favors. Well! Our good friend Adazoe owns Pop Up Shoppe on NW 23rd and wants to start selling my bouquets! So I've been hard at work filling her first order of 6 bouquets. When I bring them in we're going to talk price point. I have no idea what that means, but it makes me tingly in all the right places. How exciting!

I've been so inspired by this vote of confidence from Adazoe, that I've opened my own Etsy shop! There is nothing for sale in it yet, but I'll let you know once there is. I plan on selling the bouquets (obvs.) and also bookmarks, magnets, eyeglass sheaths, embroidered what nots and whatever the hell else I can make. I love being crafty but have pretty much run out of room for stuff in my house, so why not sell my craftiness to the masses?! Huh? Huh? I know, right? Genius.

Shauna's face in this picture says it all.

It's way too early to tell you what my Etsy shop name is and give you the URL, but trust me when I say that the name of my shop/business is super clever and Brad came up with it. He's a smarty.

Yay for stuff!

The Grand Canyon: Bush Style

Bush Meets Bush

Brad and I are going to visit the Arizona Bushes, Eric and Angie for a whole week! To illustrate my excitement, I played around on Polyvore for an hour.


We're going to the Grand Canyon, a spring training game, shopping at Fashion Square, record shopping in Phoenix and we're going to eat some succulent (that's for you, Brad) Mexican food. It's all going to be fabulous. The best part is, we'll be spending all our time with our best friends!

Hallelujah, holla back!

OK OK, One last thing!

I was ill this week and when I stayed home from work I watched all 3 seasons of Arrested Development.



TV on DVD is great for when you're stuck on the couch AND Arrested Development is great for any and everything.

I saw an "I Miss the Bluth's" bumper sticker a couple weeks ago and it made me want to tongue kiss the person driving the car. But we were at a red light and I didn't want to risk the light turning green mid-frenching. Oh well, maybe next time.

Overwhelmed

1. Spread Scott's Turf Builder w/Moss Control™ on the:

Side Yard

Back Yard

Front Yard

2. Dig up the daffodils that are in what used to be a flower bed and move them to a spot that makes more sense for us.

From here
and here
to here

3. I also need to dig up those rocks that are in our front yard and do...something with them. They don't belong there anymore.

4. Finish power washing our multiple walkways.

I washed all the moss off them last weekend and you can totally see where I sprayed. Tacky.

5. The ubiquitous laundry situation.

My hamper always seems to look like this.

6. Organize my craft area.

I don't even know where to begin.

11. Give sweet Bosley a bath.

I can see the stink lines swirling off his head.

7. I need to dye my roots.

Shockingly, I'm not a natural platinum blonde. Oh my!

You can also see the stink lines coming off my head. Though, I think I should do the yard work before I bathe myself...but am I really going to do yardwork? Eh. It's possible. I better just stay stinky all day in case I decide to do something. Good plan.

I got tired of taking pictures, but I also need to:

8. Finish spray painting some brackets for a shelf we're going to hang under a kitchen window. The shelf is for the cats as all are window sills are so narrow they aren't able to enjoy the sunshine like they used to in our apartment.

9. Sweep and vaccum. Much like laundry, this is always on my list of things to do.

10. The bathroom smells like an old folks home, so I'm thinking I need to clean it.

Can I do all this in one day? Probably, if I start now and don't stop until night time. But we have guests coming over for dinner so I should probably focus on the inside stuff. Plus, I have no supplies for the turf builder project and I kind of feel like I should make Brad do that anyway. I get stuck with all the inside chores so he should have to do all the outside chores. Now, just to clarify, when I say "I get stuck with" I mean that I don't think Brad does a good enough job, so I have made myself in charge of them. It's a blessing and a curse to be such a thorough cleaner.

I love being a homeowner, I really really do. But wow oh wow. I definitely understand why my dad was so grouchy on the weekends in the spring. There's so much and it never ends. I have no idea how he did it all and had 3 kids to deal with.

Now, enough blogging! The time for action is upon us!